I'm scared

Almost exactly 1 year ago, I think I'm about a day or two off from being to the day I went on a call that actually scared me. I was the representative for my station and it's crews at our dept. meetings, that day we had a meeting. On those days we had been off the first part of the day so we could attend our meeting. The policy changed and they revoked that so now I'm late to work. My wife drove me in to the station and dropped me off. 15 minutes after that we were called to a place on the highway back towards the town I live in for a serious car accident. It takes 15 minutes to get to the place where the accident was from my station in a car. So my only thought was that my wife and our three children are now involved in this accident. My partner and I ran to the ambulance, I NEVER run to the ambulance. Got in and off we went. That rig now has permenant indentions in the steering wheel and 6 inch dip the floorboard from me mashing the gas pedal. We had gotten about a mile from the station when we got an update from dispatch saying that the female driver had been ejected from the vehicle and a leg amputated. This was not helping me any at all. Ambulances are NOT built for speed, but I swear I was trying to qualify for the Indy 500. I noticed a county police car come up on me pretty quick and I was not about to let him by. All I could think about was our little car had been hit by an 18 wheeler and that my family was dead or dying and how was I going to take care of them, if I fail to catch an injury and they die how could I possibly look at myself in the mirror, or if others are hurt too how could I possibly write off one of my kids or my wife of 9 years to help the schmuck that hit them. I believe to took us 6 minutes to get there. The absolute longest 6 minutes of my life. We pulled up to find a completely demolished purple vehicle and a young lady laying in the road. I looked one time at the car and I felt so relieved to see that it was not our purple car. We went to the girl and began to treat her injuries and prepare to take her to the ER. I still very clearly remember the look on her face and in her eyes when she finally started to understand just how badly hurt she was. After a few minutes of her telling me who she was and where she was going and that she still needed to get to her college class that morning, she very plainly looked up at me and told me that she was scared. I have never had a patient tell me that in the way before. So I asked her if she could still hear me and she said yes and I took her hand and held it, it was so very cold, and I told that it would all be over very soon. She told me a couple of times that she didn't hurt. I told her that was good. While we were transporting her she told me a couple more times that she was cold and scared. All I could do for her was squeeze her hand a little and tell her that I was there and that we'd take care of her as best as we could. She told me one last time she was scared and I told her I was still there, and the last thing she said was, "good". I will never forget that for as long as I live. Us EMS folks take a lot of things in during the course of an average day. We don't always get an outlet to let it out. It just sits in there and stews. Sometimes too the call ends but it's never really over.