Back to school....OH SHIT!!!!! CARDIOLOGY!!!

Back to school I go. For those of you keeping score I got a 93% on my mid-term. Missed one fewer than I planned for. So I got that going for me. Cardiology has started, that is the study of the heart, for those of you who might not have guessed. Just kidding. Worst part of that is that it goes through mid-March. It is also the part that normally sends paramedic students packing. We still have the bulk of our class in tact. 12 of 14 remain. So we aren't too bad off. The other part of it is that the two we lost weren't academic issues. So basically no one has flunked out yet. I still don't feel better about where I was at two weeks ago. I kinda have high hopes for this year, but I spend a lot of days and nights just trying to figure out what is happening around me. I deal with a lot of crap, some of which I have brought upon myself. Some of it seems to be random, and some of it seems like fate is screwing with me. I NEED a hug, not a good to see you kinda hug with shoulder pats. A real hug with some substance to it. I could really use that right now. Of course that and $2.32 will buy a gallon of gas. I have my days where I feel like I made a difference for someone, but those are becoming fewer and fewer. So basically, I don't feel like this is going to be any different than last year. I may get through class, I may find a new place to work with my newly acquired Super skills, I may even relocate to my hometown. But it just don't feel real yet. I kind of feel like a lightening bug like we used to catch when we were kids. We'd run around in the early evening catching these flashing bugs. Put them in a jar with some grass we'd pull and sit and watch. I feel like one of those little guys in a jar. Except my lid on my jar ain't got no holes in it. So here I sit on a blade of grass, blinking away for the people's enjoyment. Hoping that the lid comes off before I suffocate. By the way, a lightening bug will live about 24 hours in jar with no air holes....so hurry!! I don't know where exactly that came from. I guess I'm losing my mind. Could be worse ways to have it go I guess. I don't hear voices and my neighbor's dog isn't telling me to shoot people at random, so I got that going for me. Me and a couple guys from class are supposed to have a guys night. That might actually be fun. Haven't had one of those in years. Don't know when we'll have time...but at least we thought about it. Oh well, I have said way more than I felt like, and I don't feel any better about it. So back to studying dysrhythmias.